Teaching children about honesty, to be honest means to speak the truth, communicate in an open, upfront way.<\/p>\n
Honesty is the opposite of cheating, stealing, or manipulating information to conceal it from others. We see evidence every day of how dishonesty is ruining our economical, political, and social lives.<\/p>\n
Today more than ever, children need to learn the importance of keeping their word, telling the truth, and being trustworthy. Honesty isn\u2019t just the best policy\u2014it\u2019s the only way society can function.<\/p>\n
Help kids learn what\u2019s True and False:<\/p>\n
Teach your child the basic difference between truth and falsehood.
\nTo demonstrate, tell a family story, and come up with a true ending and an outrageously false one (\u201cAnd then a giant bird came and carried Grandma to the mall\u201d). Then ask your child, which he or she thinks is true. While it\u2019s normal for young children to have an active fantasy life and sometimes use make-believe to escape blame, correct them gently. You could say, \u201cYou\u2019re saying that Mr. Nobody spilled the milk, but I think he had some help from you. I need you to help clean it up\u201d.<\/p>\n
By age 6 or 7, kids can be expected to take responsibility for their actions. Don\u2019t overreact to mistakes children may resort to lying especially when parents are very punitive, even if what they\u2019ve done is an accident. Children don\u2019t want to think of themselves as bad, so they deny having done a bad thing. Explain that you will love them even if they do something bad, but that you expect them to be honest. Give appropriate consequences: If your child is caught in a lie, create appropriate consequences. For example, if she has taken cookies without your permission and then lied about it, take away all cookie privileges for a week. If your child stole money from you or a friend, make him earn it back by doing housework or taking out the garbage.<\/p>\n
Look your child in the eye and say, \u201cThe rules in this family are we don\u2019t lie or steal\u201d. However, do not label your child \u201ca liar\u201d or \u201ca thief,\u201d since kids tend to live up to (or down to) your expectations. Deal with Exaggeration Kids often tell whoppers to impress someone. \u201cI color better than anyone else in my class,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019ve been on an airplane 25 times\u201d convey sentiments that children badly want to be real. They exaggerate to feel superior (\u201cMy father makes more money than yours,\u201d or \u201cI have 500 Transformers at home\u201d). On the playing field, kids may unfairly add points to their game or falsely protest.<\/p>\n
Rather than label the child a liar, take your child aside and say, \u201cYou wish you could do that, but you know it\u2019s not true\u201d.<\/p>\n
Model Honesty: Model honesty by admitting when you make mistakes or returning incorrect change if you\u2019ve been given too much. Hold yourself to a high standard of honesty. Kids are highly attuned to parental hypocrisy. Demonstrate the honest behavior you want to see in your children by owning up to errors, for example, \u201cI forgot to make the doctor\u2019s appointment\u201d or \u201cI made a mistake at work today\u201d. This teaches your child that even though honesty is difficult sometimes, it is not something to be afraid of. point out the downside of dishonesty. Explain that even if a friend has gotten away with cheating, there will be consequences to the dishonesty later (she will have trouble on the next math test, for example). Highlight how destructive dishonesty can be. For example, remind your child that cheating on a test means betraying the teacher\u2019s trust and defrauding the other test-takers, as well as failing himself or herself. Point out examples of dishonesty and honesty in the news and public life–crooked business people who go to jail, whistle blowers who tell the truth.<\/p>\n
Expect Truthfulness: Set up an \u201chonor code\u201d at home. Choose certain tasks, such as completing homework or making the bed, which you trust your child to do. Explain that when you ask, \u201cDid you make your bed?\u201d you will forgive your child if he or she says \u201cno,\u201d but that there will be negative consequences for not telling the truth. Thank your child when he or she tells the truth about something that was difficult to tell you, like, \u201cI broke a dish,\u201d or \u201cI failed my math test\u201d.<\/p>\n
Explain Tactfulness: The only exception to total honesty is when you might hurt someone\u2019s feelings unnecessarily. For example, discuss what they could say if they don\u2019t like a gift a relative gives them. Practice some tactful ways of expressing gratitude–such as \u201cThanks so much for the sweater, Aunt Anna. It\u2019s a great color\u201d or \u201cIt was so nice of you to think of me.\u201d Explain what distinguishes dangerous lying (cheating on a test) from hurtful truth-telling (\u201cYour haircut is ugly!\u201d).<\/p>\n
View Lying: as a Tangled Web Talk about this with kids explaining that it gets harder and harder to correct a lie once you\u2019ve told it, and you have to tell more lies to keep it going. It\u2019s much simpler to tell the truth in the first place to everyone. That way you will not have to remember who knows what.<\/p>\n